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Additional Text for the 7/31/04 Alumni Sandstorm 
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>>From: Jan Bollinger Persons ('60) 

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: A
brand new Ferrari GTO. It is the most expensive car in the
world, and it costs him $500,000.

He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old
man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next
to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and
asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, Sonny?"

The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a
million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost
so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states
the young man proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No
problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head
in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his
moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all
right... but I'll stick with my moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the
old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within
30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph! Suddenly, he
notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be
getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be, and
suddenly... whoooooosssshhhhh! Something whips by him, going
much faster! "What on Earth could be going faster than my
Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. 

He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250
mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on
the moped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he
gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph.
Whoooooosssshhhhh!

He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and
sees the old man gaining on him again! Astounded by the
speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the
Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he
sees the moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is
flat out, and there's nothing he can do! 

Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari,
demolishing the rear end. The young man stops and jumps out,
and unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to
the old man and says, "Oh my God! Are you OK? Is there
anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers... "Unhook...my...suspenders...from...
your....side view mirror."

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