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Additional Text for the 4/3/07 Alumni Sandstorm 
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>>From: Gus Keeney ('57)

Re: DEER ROPING

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a
stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and
eat it. The f irst step in this adventure was getting a deer. I
figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not
seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will
sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in
the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be
difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head
(to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer
showed up - 3 of them.

I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the
feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at
me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I
would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me,
but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope
situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a
little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to
action when you start pulling on that rope That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a
LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight
range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no
chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked
me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it
occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good
an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do
not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later,
it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and
drag me when I managed to get up It took me a few minutes to
realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I
figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time,
there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment,
I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was
mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots
where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my
head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the
ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there
was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility
for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it
suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between
my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind
of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my
rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very
surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer
grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not
like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go.
A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They
bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My
method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several
seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I
reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up
on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level,
and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago
that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves
and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make
a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This
was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would
not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from
a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it
will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different
from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three
times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right
in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl
and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck
and the deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty
good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and
my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas
jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to
the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck,
covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran
the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling
"what happened?"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would
prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is
an area that they have overlooked entirely Knowing, as I do, the
lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise
their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the
existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not
wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid
played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a
deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it.

The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my
jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on
my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody
to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He
did. Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and
wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks
are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the
event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately
as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out
of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me.
It was obviously rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at
the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their
kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers
carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several
people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see
these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk". I have
enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back
and whispering "there is the dumbass that tried to rope the deer."
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